I applaud you for your obvious sense of humor, 'cause only somebody with a sense of humor would buy a house like this with the intentions of repairing it.
When I was a teenager, there was a very run down house about two blocks from where I lived. I walked by it going to school every day. They built a 2 x 4 skeleton of a wall, covered with plastic sheeting about a foot inside of the exterior walls, then removed the entire exterior wall and built new walls. They did this one wall at a time and in less than a summers time, all of the exterior walls had been replaced and sided. It was a nice looking house when completed. IMHO, this is an option worth considering. Of course, I strongly agree with all who said verify or repair the foundation first.
As a side note: I used to tell my girls when they were growing up, I can afford any thing I want if I take my time. Doing it slowly, especially when you have family members or friends who will pitch in, should make this a very affordable and worthwhile project!