Building a house is a huge undertaking. However it can be extremely rewarding. Go ahead and sign up for Green Building Advisor, and get a subscription to Fine Home Building. The Journal of Light Construction is also a good one, though its harder to read. Also start learning Sketchup, its an invaluable tool that can help you visualize how everything fits together.
Plan on getting a construction loan. Once you start construction they are impossible to get, so get it to start with. Keep as much cash as you can out of equity and in the bank, this gives you the ability to go over budget, and you will go over budget.
Due to my view that a construction loan is mandatory, that makes a very strong argument for hiring a General Contractor, as a GC can keep you from having an extremely long construction time. A good GC will also have access to much better subs than what you likely have access to. As far as construction time goes it took my Dad and I 1.5 years working full time to build our house, and that was with hiring out the foundation, masonry, plumbing, hvac, electrical, drywall, counter tops, and roofing, as well as having a full time carpenter. It took my Uncle the same amount time building a much smaller and simpler house. That time savings makes a good GC a good deal.
No offense but you are way to early in the process to even start designing the house. You need to nail down what your budget is, how much time you have to commit to the project, what your site is like, what your aesthetic preferences are, what you want your operating and maintenance expenses to be, how you want the house to flow and work.
I'm not a big fan of pole barn construction for a house. It's great for barns, but it is more expensive than stick built to get to a finished interior.
I would also strongly consider a 2 story house. It is more energy efficient and it is less expensive per sqft.
I would not touch a GSHP. They are a great idea, but they are too expensive for the benefits, there are cheaper ways to meet your energy goals.
Likewise I wouldn't do radiant in floor heat even in the garage. Unless you are a collector or are going to be working out of the garage, garages don't need to be conditioned space 24/7.
SIPs can be great, and even though they are likely the more expensive option, they can end up saving money by reducing labor and interest payments. That said they can also be a PITA and their ability to save money overall can evaporate quickly. To really save money everyone who even touches them needs to have experience with them.
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