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natethebrown · 08-15-12, 08:40 AM

I was like you, in some ways. My roommate and I kept the house at 59-60 (yes, that is not a typo), during the winter. I often wore 2 pairs of socks and a beanie. When I got my own apartment, I was on the lower level and was surrounded, on three sides, by other apartments. I rarely turned on my heat, because of the heat from the other apartments, and mine stayed around 63-64 for most of the winter. When I started dating my girlfriend, at the time, I would turn up the temperature to a comfortable 66-67, when she would hang out at my place. I didn’t like change, and I wanted things done my way. Once we got married and I moved in with her, things changed, a bit. The two biggest things I have learned from being married, for only 2.5 years, have been patience and humility.

When we first got married, my wife had a large amount of school debt, while I had a large amount of cash saved up. Plus, I had a full-time Engineering job, which made nearly 15x more than her part-time (10-20 hr/wk) minimum wage job. She kept telling me everything she wanted to buy. I had to patiently and lovingly remind her of her school debt and how we needed to pay that off first (FYI, we share everything, including bank accounts). After a while, she came around to my side of fiscal conservativeness. Now, she gets really unsettled about spending any money, even if it is something she has wanted for a while.

I, unfortunately, am lazy when it comes to picking things up. I would usually allow the dishes to pile up for a day or two, than do them all at once. Most of the time, I wouldn’t ‘pickup as I go.’ With that being said, I cannot stand a dirty home, but I didn’t mind clutter. Over the 2.5 years, my wife has had to remind me to pick up my stuff. Fairly recently, I had finally swallowed my pride enough to ‘pick up as I went.’ I couldn’t stand it, at first, even though I knew she was right. Now days, I happily rinse off my dishes almost immediately, and stick them in the dish washer. I pick up my stuff more often, and things are less cluttered. I do all of this because I actually like it better.

What I am trying to say is marriage is a two-way street. There will be things you will have to help your partner with, and there will be things she will help you with. The important thing to remember is relationships filled with arrogance and a lack of patience is bound to have problems. A lot of times, the problem resides within yourself, and not with your partner. Find a woman you can and are willing to learn from, and that she can and is willing to learn from you.

08-15-12, 08:40 AM	#3
natethebrown Apprentice EcoRenovator Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North Alabama Posts: 167 Thanks: 0 Thanked 40 Times in 20 Posts	I was like you, in some ways. My roommate and I kept the house at 59-60 (yes, that is not a typo), during the winter. I often wore 2 pairs of socks and a beanie. When I got my own apartment, I was on the lower level and was surrounded, on three sides, by other apartments. I rarely turned on my heat, because of the heat from the other apartments, and mine stayed around 63-64 for most of the winter. When I started dating my girlfriend, at the time, I would turn up the temperature to a comfortable 66-67, when she would hang out at my place. I didn’t like change, and I wanted things done my way. Once we got married and I moved in with her, things changed, a bit. The two biggest things I have learned from being married, for only 2.5 years, have been patience and humility. When we first got married, my wife had a large amount of school debt, while I had a large amount of cash saved up. Plus, I had a full-time Engineering job, which made nearly 15x more than her part-time (10-20 hr/wk) minimum wage job. She kept telling me everything she wanted to buy. I had to patiently and lovingly remind her of her school debt and how we needed to pay that off first (FYI, we share everything, including bank accounts). After a while, she came around to my side of fiscal conservativeness. Now, she gets really unsettled about spending any money, even if it is something she has wanted for a while. I, unfortunately, am lazy when it comes to picking things up. I would usually allow the dishes to pile up for a day or two, than do them all at once. Most of the time, I wouldn’t ‘pickup as I go.’ With that being said, I cannot stand a dirty home, but I didn’t mind clutter. Over the 2.5 years, my wife has had to remind me to pick up my stuff. Fairly recently, I had finally swallowed my pride enough to ‘pick up as I went.’ I couldn’t stand it, at first, even though I knew she was right. Now days, I happily rinse off my dishes almost immediately, and stick them in the dish washer. I pick up my stuff more often, and things are less cluttered. I do all of this because I actually like it better. What I am trying to say is marriage is a two-way street. There will be things you will have to help your partner with, and there will be things she will help you with. The important thing to remember is relationships filled with arrogance and a lack of patience is bound to have problems. A lot of times, the problem resides within yourself, and not with your partner. Find a woman you can and are willing to learn from, and that she can and is willing to learn from you.