I made the heat trap which dips almost all the way to the bottom of the tank:
Unfortunately, heat is still being sucked gravitationally from the tank! Only the top of the trap should have been hot, further down it should have been cooler.
But after opening the valves, within a few minutes the whole heat trap and mixing valve were hot, with the heat creeping through the circulation pump up into the house
I'm thinking about that flap valve, as Mike suggested. But must it be mounted so the flow is horizontal, or can it be vertical (so that the weight of the brass flap will hold back the push of gravity-induced flow, like position #2 below)?
Earlier I tried a one-way valve with a disk in it, in position #1, but its spring was too strong and grossly hindered the pump.
After that experience I am afraid that the weight of the brass flap will have a similar effect.